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Find someone who will love you through your weaknesses and wonders.
Like Tate loves Violet.
And like I love you.



: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim


Skins by: IlliShuhada
Basecode : PikaChan

2017; Starlight.


I am writing again. This time what about I write based on the things I watched? I just finish re-watching SAO and one Philippines movie. So, let me tell you what my thoughts collected after watching.

What if there’s another world other than ours? What if we can live another life different from the ones we’re living? What if I want to dream another dream? What if I want to make through another path? I’ve been talking about living another life since forever. What if there’s a parallel universe, another prism? That can take us back to the past and move on to the future? I’ve been spouting nonsense. For once, if I could change the world, I will. But no pious man even holds the future in his hands, what does a mere little human like me means then? That’s why there’s a limit being put to thinking, I can’t even make it come true, what’s the use of asking? But my dreams are good enough, I can sell it.

Let me tell you how I envision the future. The world should be a very nice place, I would like to see parks and greens, and how I wish I could run free without any barriers to even reach the stars. I would like to see flying cars and floating building, but no one should ever defy gravity. (This is not that song okay) and there’s me standing there looking at paintings. I would love to go to art galleries, can someone take me there? I want to look like a very classy woman just for once and then I’ll stay at home forever. Futures should be bright I know but sorry, I don’t need climate changes. Let’s make the world a better place shall we? Let’s hold hands together and plant trees and cherish what’s left of this world for my little children. I want to run too, to breathe clean airs, to be free. Is it too much to ask for? 

Nurin sent me a picture of my handwritten love letter I wrote a year ago. The one I wrote after he left me. That time, I am a coward, a slug who doesn’t’ even want to admit the truth. Really being held captive by my own feeling but I managed, I stood up to it today. I may missed the whole thing, the feelings, the pheromones I’ve been releasing, and how the world was so calm that night I wrote it. It was in the finals week and I turned into a slump, while Nurin is diligently studying. I wrote that on her bed and I really cried till it hurts, I had to calm myself down under the shower. It was after midnight and I grasped tight to my chest trying to cool down my head. It hurts, the one thing I can say. I haven’t been in love since then, I tried but to no achievement. So, I tell myself, let’s pray for everybody’s happiness. God had so much to do, to try to help the poor, to make peace anywhere He can, and maybe He forgot that I actually need Him too. And I did my best in being happy for others, I am glad that Huda found another one after that jerk, I am glad that Nurin is happy with Ihsan again. I am being sincere in believing for others. Please God, take my hand and show me the way, I may be a little reckless but I swear to love my life truthfully. I didn’t lie anymore, I cried when I felt sad, and I smiled when I am happy, I open up to people, I learn to appreciate the ones I love, I just want You to be with me. Assure me that You won’t leave because I had so many people left.

If you have one week left, what would you do? I want to hug every cats I saw, I want to feed the birds, I want to talk to the trees and say sorry to the one I accidentally ripped when I was mad during my PMR days, I remembered a TV show back when I was a kid saying that trees can actually hear us and respond, I want to at least go to one musical instrument concert, to go to art galleries, to run at the beach, to plant lots of trees to make a park for the next generation, I want to hold hands with my parents. I want to be a kid again, and I want to at least try to understand myself for once. I want to make decisions without hesitation, I want to smile to the sun and tell him don’t be sick, I want to play poles again while talking to the one I love, I don’t want to run away from my feelings anymore. Is it too much to ask for for one last week? And I want to write a love letter to everyone but since paper is very precious I’ll just send emails instead. 

Song to be played for this blog entry: Till I Met You. 

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