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: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim

: izxarahim@yahoo.com


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Kim.


Assalamualaikum.

Let this be my second post today.

My life had been miserable lately. And I know how hard it is to wake up the next day without any tears. Every minute I had my mind wander elsewhere I never know. Sometimes it is so hard to recover from it. The reason to be happy; I haven't found it yet. I thought that happiness lies in front of me. Maybe it's true that I hope that happiness is something special. It's not that I'm not being grateful, but since I know that they will be by my side, I have no worries.

It's always been emotional being Izzati. Because I let my heart conquer my brain. I may be the last in class, I may be stupid, and never pretty, but I really wanted to be nice. Being nice and good tops it all. I sit and wonder why, just why I place others first. I am wrong to do that. But tell me, being myself ( the good one) ((not complimenting myself)) or be the selfish one? I never hurt anybody. It hurts me more seeing other people hurt.

Can I just be Kim Mi Young? The one who did the comeback as a very strong woman. Why did my name says the opposite? I never let people see my weakness. Maybe that is my weakness. I hated my name once. I asked my mom, 'Apa maksud nama Izzati?' Izzati means kekuatanku, kemuliaanku. I'm not strong, lagikan mulia. I used to hate that. Because I knew my name had nothing to do with my personality. Because the one whose name _ failed to protect my heart.

It's not that I'm hoping anything. Someone said to me, 'jangan berharap tinggi sangat, nanti jatuh sakit.' But tell me, who doesn't want to be rich, pretty, nice and perfect? I tried. But this is not happiness to me. I don't need all this to be happy.

Tell me, where can I find myself back?


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