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: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim

: Izzati Rahim

: izxarahim@yahoo.com


Skins by: IlliShuhada
Basecode : PikaChan

Musim cuti musim kahwin.


Assalamualaikum.

I'm home currently for two days now. Busy tengok movie and stuffs nak kena fikir masa cuti ni. Fikir pasal results, pasal diri sendiri, pasal orang kahwin.


Oh btw, my cousin is getting married next week. And I takde baju kurung nak pakai. Nak fikir tudung lagi. Once I said to my mom, 'mak, takde tudung lah nak pakai.' 'Berjuta tudung beli tu bukan nak pakai.' Oh myyyyyy, reactions overloaded. I bought all those tudungs are for daily basis punya, pakai bila need minimal ironing and mostly are dark colours. I think I need to buy a few shawls lah to match my baju kurung. I'm planning to wear black, as always. You don't need to complain about it. Who doesn't love black? Only pretty girls I guess. Yang confident by going into reds and shades of white well I can't. Nanti I nak cari baju lah, seriously nak cari baju cantik untuk wedding cousin. Sebab all my cousins will be there eh taknak lah nampak buruk. Sebab masing-masing dah jadi models dah sekarang ni uolls, I tidak.

I've been stressed, lately sebab exams, peh, time exam pun tengok dramas lagi nak stress. Makan banyak, tidur lambat, acne problems. Oh, kalau Izzati panda pun seriously panda yang hodoh. I hope filters can cover my flaws lah. Sempat ke dalam seminggu nak cantik kannnnn? Kalau kurus tu takpelah, petang ni maybe I akan work it out somehow.


Oh, Nacu dah kahwin wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Seriously terkejut sangat. Nacu dah kahwinnnn. I am seriously so jealous. She was the prettiest girl in my batch, to me lah. Yang lembut je, yang cakap pun sopan, yang pandai, yang suka benda comel and seriously dia dah kahwinnnnn. Tanya Zafirah haritu dia kahwin dengan siapa? Dengan jiran dia kot tak silap, I don't know lah sebab jauh kot nak pergi. Just managed to kirim salam je. Memang musim kahwin sekarang ni. Zafirah acah kata Izzati kahwin duluuu, hahahahahahah I haven't found a guy who's interested in me. Izzati nak bangun pagi, mandi awal, kemas bilik pun malas inikan nak kahwin.

Rasa nak kahwin ni just hormonal je. Tipu! It makes your heart flustered, blushing all the time. Ewww, geli okayyy. I cakap macam ni sebab I pun rasa nak kahwin. Siapa tak nak weh? Tapi biasalah average age sekarang nak kahwin pun 20 to 22. Masing-masing nak kahwin awal. Even my ketua naqibah group whatsapp pun yang sebaya dengan Izzati dah kahwin last year kot ke before that and dah ada anak dah sekarang. Woahhhh, siapa tak jealous kannnnn? Tapi I assure you and I promised mak, I'll be getting married lambat lagi. I'm waiting for someone.

Omoo, I'm 20 this year. Banyak gila benda nak achieve before I die. I rasa I mati awal lah, amalan tak cukup berani kata macam tu. That's why, haritu dapat mimpi, kahwin dengan seorang ustaz. Woahh, I woke up terkejut gila. I told lah my kawan pasal that mimpi, dia cakap entah-entah betul kot. Tapi Izzati tak nak kahwin dengan ustaz, if given the choice, I nak kahwin dengan lelaki biasa sahaja. Kenapa? I have my own reason. I don't need an ustaz to guide me. Tahu ustaz ni pandai agama, belajar jauh, lengkap serba serbi cukup untuk persediaan akhirat dia. Sebab Izzati rasa rendah diri kalau kahwin dengan dia nanti. I have a lot of insecurities. Perasaan Izzati sendiri terumbang-ambing macam kapal nak karam lah katakan. Izzati dah pakai tudung okay, I managed to cover my aurat. Because I want my dad to be in syurga, I don't want lah to seksa him. Okay cukup. Izzati pun tahu semua yang wajib, yang sunat, yang penting everything. Tak perlu ustaz pun in my life.


Cerita kahwin is so hot right now just like the weather. Cukup nanti Izzati kahwin dengan dia, the one I love. Yang Izzati tahu dia baik, dia taat pada Allah and his parents, tahu hormat orang tak kira lah tua ke muda, yang tak ego, yang boleh sabar dengan Izzati despite Izzati akan gegarkan rumahtangga ni sekalipun. You know, I need someone with patience. Sabar in everything. Sebab susah jaga Izzati ni. I warned everybody about me. Satu senang jaga Izzati ni. You tell her it's bad, she'll change. Though it's slow but I'll show positivity, If you asked her properly, she won't rebel, she'll do it. Walaupun dia merungut but she'll get it done.

Another example lah kan, she was really lazy sebelum ni, harapkan mak in everything. She cried her eyes out bila mak abah paksa dia duduk asrama. Mak cakap, there's good kalau mak takde. Maybe you'll learn something. And yes, managed to finished my boarding school walaupun tak berjaya dapat straight A, but I have qualities that I learnt. Friendship, love, I managed all that. Izzati dah pandai doh lipat baju peh kemas gila, dia tak jijik dah bila orang suruh basuh toilet, dah pandai kemas rumah, dari tak tahu pasal agama she knows everything now. Beza duduk 2 tahun and 5 tahun dekat asrama boleh nampak lah. Some even dibesarkan in surrounding yang kurangnya didikan agama, boleh pakai tudung tutup dada and jaga aurat. Yang 5 tahun dalam tu, yang dapat masuk first intake sebab semuanya pandai and kaya, yang mak ayah invest tapi bila keluar sekolah, berleluasa all the bad things I can't even mention. Budak asrama ni satu hal je, diorang condemn orang buat salah tapi diorang sendiri buat kesalahan yang sama.


I had a friend lah kan, a 'friend' yang I tak berapa gemar, dia menangkan orang yang couple time sekolah dulu. Beria bagi Izzati advice bila nampak Izzati call her boyfriend dulu. Tapi sekarang sama je. Dia pun ada boyfriend. Buat benda lagha. Panggil-panggil sayang. Izzati tak jahat pun dulu. Sebenarnya kan, duit ni main pengaruh penting kot. You got money, you got everything. Orang respect you because you ada duit. You nampak kaya. You boleh pijak orang. You can do everything single thing in this world. You boleh ada boyfriend. You boleh ajak kawan-kawan you benci orang lain. That makes me different I guess.

Maybe sebab I tak kaya kot. Tak mampu nak ada boyfriend, tak mampu nak pandai, tak mampu nak fly overseas, tak mampu nak kahwin and tak mampu serba serbi. Tapi I mampu kot belanja kawan I bila dia susah. Mampu tahan kena fitnah jugak lah. Masa Izzati suka dekat Triple A dulu pun, beria budak form 2 tu jeling Izzati nak kata lelaki tu dia punya. Eh, I tak heran lah. I suka tengok je lelaki tu, bukan nak amek dia buat laki. Awak form 2 dah pandai tak hormat senior kan, tapi takpe, I let it go.

Izzati can write a novel I guess. I need to prepare kot mentally sebab next Monday dah start internship. Wish me luck lah okayyy. And doakan pakwe Izzati cepat-cepat habis belajar and kerja sebab Izzati nak kahwin dengan dia. Allahumma aminn. And esok 14 sayang, I miss you lots. I better finish my Harry Potter series and I'm so in love with Ron.


Assalamualaikum.

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