Find someone who will love you through your weaknesses and wonders.
: Izzati Rahim
: Izzati Rahim
: Izzati Rahim
Basecode : PikaChan
Last Letter - Broken Angel.
I have nothing much to say. I wasn't gonna give up on us. I love you. And I doubt you have the same feelings towards me. I never wanted to be a burden. It's enough that I'm such a nuisance towards my parents. I failed you all the time.
I updated my blog this time because you didn't read the words I wrote you on my Instagram. I wanted to know who am I to you. Do I mean something to you? Like every typical love letters, they describe how perfect their partner was. I can't do that. I tried making up everything, but it was all blurry. At first I thought you were nice, you were going to be very very good to me. Dream of everything would be like the fairy tale ending. The way you said how you love me, how you needed me, how you want a future, how every mistakes were to be admitted, how regret you were after every fights, how very protective you were, they weren't real anymore. I once admired you, I told my mom this is it, the guy, the last, the one I'm sure off. How sweet you sounded, the way you described everything with passion, that you made me laugh after every tears, even you're tired you say it would be okay, because I was your priority.
I doubt that was even true. I'm scared of this before. I have doubts telling everyone I love you before. I'm afraid of failure. She told me you were good, because maybe I could trust you yeah. I miss the way you called me sayang. I hate being like this. Like I'm the only one hurting. I hurt you by my words. I hurt myself by saying this wouldn't last. I trusted you. I told myself have patience, he'll be there. I told myself, sabar. He'll come to you.
I really wanted you to call me. To say you love me. To comfort me with your words. I don't want promises. I don't want chocolates. I just want you to call. If I can put you first, why can't you? What makes us different? You're good in everything and I'm not. You had your activities and I don't. You're busy, and all I do is bug you. Like I had nothing to do. I'm a failure and you're so great I can't match you. I showed you my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough.
You should hear to Broken Angel by Boyce Avenue. It suits us so well. How hard I tried, I'm always a failure in your eyes. This is my last letter, read it well. Maybe if I meet you in 10 years, you'll miss my letters. You'll read it back with my voice echoing in your head. You'll regret shutting me out from your space. You'll search for me in every part of your new girls. You'll know how hurt it is being the one whose always at fault. You'll know all my deep secrets the ones I won't tell anyone even my mother. You'll find out that I loved you so much I couldn't move on, that I'm sick enough to love you in my every tears.
It's never your fault sayang. It was me. I was the one at fault. This is all my mistake. Don't blame yourself, you're too special to be blame. If I could, I would protect you from all the mistakes in this world, so no harm would come to you. I'll be forever protecting you from the faults of others. Don't get hurt, please don't. All my words are not important, you can ignore them. You should do your best. You're so perfect I don't deserve you. This is why I wrote you this letter in the beginning.
Hariz Azmi, all I want you to be is a good guy. The one who will always make his dear parents proud. Be happy in your every choice. Never make the wrong choice. If you failed, get back up. I'll be your number 1 supporter. Go find yourself. Find yourself a good wife. Search for your dreams. I'll pray for your best. Thank you. I thank you for everything. I'll send you your present. Congratulation on your graduation. May Allah grant you Jannah. I love you that it hurts.
Ikhlas, Nur Izzati Maulad Abdul Rahim :)
Secret lover : Hariz Azmi